Many insensitive, cruel, ignorant and/or infuriating things have been said to me over the years about my bipolar disorder and mental illness in general. They hurt. They make me angry. They need to be corrected. And I can't seem to forget them, try as I might. My brain holds onto pain. I want to but I can't seem to "forgive and forget," "move on," be "positive" -- all those things we're advised to do. I thought it would help if we had a place to put them out there where people who've heard them too will understand, empathize, offer support -- and share their own experiences.
So I'm starting a new thread on this blog where people can post the worst things
people have said to them in connection with their bipolar or other
mental illness (like borderline personality disorder, depression, self-harm, eating
disorders, etc.) -- or just mental illness in general. Please only post the things said (with background like
who, where, when, context, etc. if you like), but no rants, editorials, extended commentary, etc.. I’m hoping these quotes will stand alone as
indictments of people’s ignorance and insensitivity. Nothing but text
please, and you can post anonymously or give your name or some name, as you choose.
I hope this will be cathartic, self-affirming, anger-resolving,
educational and a strike against stigma.
Get if off your chest and out of your head!
Here is my own first post:
ReplyDeleteWhen I was about 22, I cut myself really badly. After it bled all night, I figured I had to see a doctor, so I found one in my HMO and went in. They had never dealt with self-injury before, so they freaked out. While this doctor was babysitting me in her office until “the authorities” came to get me, she asked me about my history. Then she said:
“So, you’ve been seeing psychiatrists for a long time. I’m sure they’ve informed you that you should never have children?”
Oh, and she was pregnant at the time.
Wow.
People often speak about me as if I weren't there. I have 2 neuro disorders, and it is hard to manage when I'm around people. "Is there something wrong with her?" "This is the first I've heard about it." When I was small I was told it is rude to speak about people. I follow this rule but apparently a lot of adults never learned manners. Why is it so hard to talk to someone directly if you are curious about them? I have often heard rumours about myself floating around, spread by people who have never spoken to me themselves. People are cowardly and ignorant regarding mental health.
ReplyDeleteSo the worst thing people have said to you about your mental illness is: Nothing. Silence. That's one of the worst.
ReplyDeleteI cannot handle feeling conspicuous and talked about behind my back. I have self-harmed many times over my lifetime and I have a lot of very obvious scars. I used to wear long sleeves year-round. I felt that everyone was talking about me behind my back. After a few years of not self-harming and being mentally stable, I just stopped hiding it. If someone asked, I deflected the question. I was willing to explain my mental illness, but I wanted to do it on my own terms.
And yes: The people who treat you like you are either deaf, blind or stupid and thus aren't affected by their gossip, comments, stares and ignorance: They're in the hall of shameful fame too.
The most hated and "noted" statement from the tumblr blog I set up for these comments was: "Isn't everyone a little bipolar?"
ReplyDelete